Part of me is excited. I mean, it's finally been a week since I've found out. I thought I'd never make it through this week. At least not without any nervous breakdowns.
In fact, all I've experienced is assurance. Not only from those that love me, friends mainly. But from myself... From her.
I felt her hiccuping yesterday. And, if she had problems swallowing, she wouldn't be hiccuping, right?
I don't know.. Maybe it's just me trying to comfort myself, with no real medical knowledge.
I just know everything's alright. I know she's perfect. I can feel it, in my heart.
The main thing I'm dreading is that if I am diagnosed with Hydramnios, then that could mean post-postpartum hemorrhaging, problems with the placenta, pre-term labor, etc.
I'm nervous for all of those outcomes. I don't really want any of them. I don't want to BLEED. I mean, I've heard I'm already going to anyway. A LOT. I don't want to bleed MORE.
But don't get me wrong, I would take all of them (except maybe the preterm labor) if it means that my little girl is still perfect.
I would take a thousand awful postpartum complications, if it means that she'll be okay.
I just need to take a look at that beautiful face, and know why I do it. Why I would go through any of it.
For my little girl.
Never would I leave your side, never would I let a day go without you knowing how deeply you are loved. I could sacrifice anything, just for you. My sweet, baby girl.
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