You are cordially invited...

I got the invites officially filled out today. It took (what SEEMED) like forever.

BUT! Lo, there was an end!


And, somehow, her arrival is seeming incredibly close!

I really like them. Thanks to Ed's mom, she totally found the PERFECT invite for me. And we both had to work so hard to get them to come out right! (Wouldn't ya know it... Printer problems. Ugh.)

But they go out tomorrow, and I am one happy preggo! Hell, my shower is in 2 1/2 weeks!

Scary dreams and cold mornings...

Last night, I woke up out of a deep sleep.
I'd been having probably the most scary, and longest, nightmare of my entire life.
Filled with graphic violence, people chasing me, rapists, murderers, monsters. The whole nightmare she-bang.

I woke up was too scared to even look around the room. I managed to get my phone, and call Ed, since he was still at work.

I sent him 2 texts and called him. No answer.
I braved it, and went to pee. Facing my fears didn't make me any less scared.
Neither did leaving the bathroom light on.

Every terrible scenario was going through my head. I needed my boyfriend. And I needed him quick.

By the time he got home, I'd managed to fall asleep facing the TV. That way, whenever I opened up my eyes, I could see if there was someone in front of me and behind me (by the reflection in the T.V.)

It was such an awful feeling. And I couldn't shake it. I just felt like something awful had happened.
The second Ed and I laid down after he got home, I was instantly able to fall asleep.

It's so nice having a big, strong man to snuggle up against. Even if it is for only a couple of hours.

Preggo dreams? Can seem SOO real.

You're too cute...

Update:

This little girl? The one that is ever so steadily getting bigger and making time SPEED up until her arrival?

I friggin' love her.

This morning, we played a game. A game called, "Look! Mommy can do that too!"

She was going NUTZO in my belly. Just WEE! Over here, and then a WEE!!! Over there... WEE!'ing all over the place.

So, I poked her. No hard or anything, just to the point that I think she could feel me. And I did it repeatedly.

Poke. Poke Poke. Poke pokepokepoke.
And then I would giggle to myself, because messing with your daughter? TOTALLY fun. Just sayin'.

Then I starting a song thing to the pokes.
"Imma poke you over here, now!"
Poke. Poke. Pokepokepokepoke.
"Now, Imma poke you over .... HERE, now!"
Poke. Poke poke pokepokepokepoke.
(Snickering to self.)

It was surprisingly fun. And even more surprising?

She actually has quieted down. (But now that I say that, she's gonna do that thing where she purposefully does the opposite of what I said she was doing, making me look like a complete fool. Oh well, suppose I should get used to it. Hehe.)

Hi, I'm Complainy McComplainer-pants. Nice to meet you.

Or, you can also call me, Hacky McCougher-son.
I mean, my boyfriend does.

I r sick. I don't feel well. My face hurts. My eyes hurt. My nose is runny, and I think I've got enough mucus in my respiratory system to power China for YEARS. (Talk about alternative fuel!)

I know this is the last leg of the Evil Illness that has plagued me for DAYS now, but that doesn't make it suck any less.

In other, non-complaining news:
I have a confession. Yesterday/This morning, I got a little scared.

See, in preparation for moving our tons o' crap, we had to bomb our old apartment for (Ewwwww!) roaches, in order to not take them with us. (If our landlord had just sprayed, ya know.. EVER, this wouldn't be such a HUGE hassle for us. Anyway, I digress..)

So, we set off a fumigator. Scratch that. We set off TWO fumigators that should have been able to cover 14,000 square feet. In our 500 square feet apartment.
Now, I'm no mathematician, but that's uhh, I dunno... a PRETTY EFFING GOOD ratio there.
In our minds, it was a done deal. Spray, let it set for a few hours. Voila. No. More. DAMN. Bugs.

Upon return to the apartment from HELL, it was quickly discovered that not only had the two fumigators not killed all the bugs, it hadn't killed ANY.
They were walking around. Flippin' us the bird as they were crawling around, as if to say, "PshAAHH. Ya cain't git rid of us, vatos."

Well, since the roaches survived, and after letting the apartment air out for a good 20-30 minutes, I waltzed back inside. Thinking that if it didn't even harm the roaches, it surely can't hurt me or the baby too bad.
I mean, I was careful. I made sure to get some air every 5-10 minutes, and if I was feeling dizzy, I'd go outside until I felt better.
Well, it wasn't until around 11pm last night that I realized that my little, precious, baby girl (whom I am so careful for that I don't even touch alcohol, even when they tell me I can have a glass of wine) hadn't moved since we'd returned back to the house.

Oh... What a great feeling, lemme tell YOU!

I never freaked out, but I did mention it to Ed.

Something along the lines of, Uhh.. Babe? You don't think....
He said nah. That by the time I really spent any time in there, there wasn't any poison left anyway. And if I did inhale anything, it was probably only enough to make her 'docile' (Ahh! My baby girl, docile because of some roaches)

And it's not like I wasn't feeling her at all. She was just a LOT quieter than she normally is.
And it extended to this morning. She was definitely still kicking and twitching and rolling around, just not as much.

I can't explain it, but I knew everything was alright... Just, being a first time mom, this little girl is my life. And I just wanted to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was okay.
And she can't tell me, "Yeah, Mom. Geez. Take a chill pill."
So, I was worried.

Well, Let me tell you, that this little girl LOVES to prove me wrong. Last night, while in mid-conversation about her lack of moving, she went and moved.
And right now? She hasn't stopped moving since I started typing this post.

'Cause she's 'cute' like that.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives

Waking up next to him, still the greatest feeling ever.
Waking up next to him for the last time in this crappy, roach-infested apartment?
Might actually be better.

We have a huge day ahead of us. Tomorrow, I'm going to HAAATE going to work, seeing as how I'll probably be worn out from head to toe.

Weird pregnancy thing that happened yesterday?
Our current 'roommate' had his baby over yesterday. I've held him while he fell asleep before, no big deal. So, I was doing this yesterday, and the boob that was closest to his head started leaking colostrum. Normally it does it while I sleep, or random times during the day. This is the first time that I could tell that it was because of someTHING.
It was a weird feeling, first because my boob was reacting to the fact that there was a little one around. It was like, "COOL. I get to try out this new thing I learned!"
But, Sadly, I was like, "No! Bad boob! This ain't mine! Fall Back! RETREAT!"
So, boob got mad at me, and is now INCREDIBLY sore.
Now, I wish my kid was here just to 'drink' from it and make it STOP HURTING SO DAMN BAD!
I mean, it's painful. Incredibly so.

It also showed me something else. I can't WAIT to nurse my baby girl. Have her resting against my chest, watching her fall asleep in my arms. I cannot freaking wait. I really hope everything goes right, but if yesterday was any indication? My boobs are totally ready for this.

Today, as I've stated before, we start the moving process. Which will help the feeling that we're completely unprepared for her ever-nearing arrival.
Which means, soon? I can start GETTING HER NURSERY READY.
Eee! I'm so excited!

Happy Easter. Today, we're going over to Nini's house for Easter dinner. It's been a while since she's seen me, and I know I'm a lot bigger than I was last time. :-)

Aaand, another (week) one bites the dust.

Sometimes I just want to peek inside of my belly and find out exactly what it is that she's doing in there.


What in the? Is she trying to get her foot in her mouth?
Is she purposefully tap dancing on my ribs?
Why does it feel like her head is all of the sudden up here instead of down there, where it was 5 minutes ago.
Woah, that felt like a cell phone going off in my uterus. What the --?

And then I just stop asking. Because it ain't like she's gonna tell me. She's stubborn like that. (Already taking after her daddy a little too much for my comfort. Hehe.)

But I always feel so happy to feel her. There are a lot of women out there who can't feel this, who can never feel this. The sensations and emotions that encompass carrying your own child. One that you love with every inch of your heart.

And I know how lucky I am... She doesn't even know it yet, but she's changed my life. Hell, she's changed me. I no longer think like the single female that I was a year ago. I am a mommy. And I have a baby and husband to think about.
All because two people fell in love, and created an amazing little girl.
She's changed a lot of people's lives.
She doesn't know how many people already think she's just the freaking greatest thing ever. Even better than sliced bread. She has no clue how many people love her so much already, how many people are willing to do anything for this little being that's currently residing in my stomach.

And she's made me the luckiest girl in the whole world...

And in 3 months, there will be a little girl officially come into our lives. Ed and I will learn and cope and our relationship will change so much
And in some ways, that's terrifying. I think the real, actual reality is hitting, and I can some-what see what's going to happen.
And, It's downright scary sometimes. But?

It's also the single most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. And I get to do it with my best friend, Ed. We get to enter, together, the greatest experience life has to offer, being the strength for each other. Growing and loving, together.

So, Week twenty-seven? Yeah. I'm ready for you. 

From my head down to my toes.

So, there are a few things I want to write about today.

My week 26 summary. How my day went, how beautiful the weather is. Hell, even April Fool's.

But alas, I feel like poo. I think the problem is I'm tired. And that I might be coming down with something. Or the fact that I'm pregnant, and every thing hurts worse when pregnant. (I can't even run anymore.)

Today I had lunch with two girls that mean so much to me. I didn't realize how much I missed them until we sat down for lunch and started gabbing.

They really are awesome. And exactly what I need right now.

There will be a better update tomorrow. Possibly with some baby talk. I dunno... I can't even think straight right now.

Here's to not getting sick...